The Bro Code

1. Bros before hoes, obviously. That encompasses a lot, like...

2. Never try to steal your friend's girl.

3. Never go after a girl your friend is already going after. "Dibs" is in effect.

4. Never date/bang your friends' exes, even if they says it's okay.

5. Don't date/bang your friends' sisters, no matter what you've learned from sitcoms.

6. Don't bang your friends' mom. I mean, seriously, dude.

7. Whoever got laid most recently has to play wingman.

8. You must always have your bro's back. No exceptions. 

9. If your friend cheats on his woman, you take that shit to your grave.

10. Never dis your friends' woman to his face. Wait till they break up.

11. When they do break up, tell him everything you hated about her. If you don't have anything , make something up.

12. When your friend gets dumped, it's your responsibility to get him laid (or at least drunk).

13. When you first meet your friends' new girl, act like she's all he ever talks about.

14. Don't brag about how many women you've slept with. That's what assholes do.

15. Never cock-block your friend. Ever.

16. When a bro asks a bro what he thinks of his girlfriend or date, a bro is always required to give an honest answer. The phrase, "I'd bang her" is off limits.

17. Feel free to humiliate and ridicule your friends around guys. That's how we know we like each other.

18. Pick up the fucking bar tab when it's your turn. No excuses. If you're broke, stay at home.

19. Don't take sip from another man's drink.

20. When your buddy gets too drunk, it's okay to let him make an ass out of himself for a while, but know when to step in.

21. Don't let your friend drive home plastered. At least shove him in a cab.

22. Don't use a urinal right next to another dude if there's another one available. And while you're in there.

23. Keep your eyes on your own junk. No peek-sneaking.

24. If there's an attendant in the men's room, tip him. But only once.

25. If your friend gets in a fight, you have to back him up. Doesn't matter if he's in the wrong.

26. If a friend calls your from jail, you have to be the one to bail him out.

27. If your buddy moving, you have to help.

28. If your buddies are helping you move, beer and pizza is on you.

29. If a bro dies and you have a chance to to clear his internet history, destroy his hard drive, you must do it. Mourn later.

30. Never take your friends' last beer.

31. If two bros know the same story, the bro who is lesser known among the party or group shall tell it.

32. A bro must always respect another bro's car, house, and parents.

33. Your favorite beer is free, your second favorite beer is cold. If your bro offers a beer don't bitch it isn't your brand.

34. Don't gossip, either. You're above that kind of shit.

35. Don't take the middle seat on the couch... unless you're really stoned.

36. Absolutely no getting with the guy's ex-girlfriend unless he has given you his blessing.

37. Older bros are a resource. Find a chief and accept his wisdom. This will make you a better bro.

38. If you are a guest in the house, you always take the worst controller.

39. If you happen to know a guy's girlfriend or wife is cheating on him, you let him know. Doesn't matter if you barely know the guy at least drop him a anonymous hint.

40. If you're the best man at his wedding, you must get a stripper for the bachelor party, no matter what he says he wants.

41. If a bro's girlfriend calls you and asks about a bro actions the previous night, you will always claim that yes he was there and you may even claim he is still there. Studies show that 8 out of 10 bros will do this without thinking.

42. You will always make excuses for a bros actions, no matter how obscene. All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven. No exceptions.

43. Unless you're in a tux, don't wear a bow tie. We all know you're just trying to stand out.

44. A bro will never give detail when describing a sexual encounter. Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable.

45. When watching a great game in public, it's fine to go a little crazy, but dude... know the line.

46. Repay your goddamn debts, no matter how old or how small.

47. A bro will always tell a bro what he did when he was blacked out. No matter how bad.

48. A bro is only allowed to do really stupid things when he is really drunk. A bro may be denied further access to alcohol when its obvious he has drunk too much already.

49. When a promise is made, it shall be kept and under no circumstances shall it be broken.

50. Any violation of any of these rules constitutes an ass-beating.






Source: A Bro Code