You are a filipino

 

 

 

MANNERISM AND PERSONALITY TRAITS

You point with your lips
You eat with your hand and have it down as a technique
Your other piece of luggage is a "Balikbayan Box"
You nod your head upwards to greet someone
You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbows on your knees while you eat
You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower
You kiss relatives on the cheek when you enter the room
You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport
You collect items from hotels or restaurants as "souvenirs"
Your house has a distinctive aroma
You smile for no reason
You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly
You go to department stores and try bargain with the price
You scratch your head when you don't know the answer
You never eat the last morsel of food on the table
You go bowling
You play pusoy or mahjong
You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun
You add an unwarranted 'H' to your name: Jhun, Bhoy, Rhon
You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "Excuse, Excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
Your middle name is your mom's maiden name
You like everything that is imported or 'stateside'
Your perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees
You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for events
You always offer food to your visitors
You put your arm on the other person's shoulder if he or she is a close friend of yours
You draw a rectangle in the air when asking for the bill, which never fails to baffle the restaurant staff
You don't sit on the bowl in public toilets, no matter what part of town or if your thighs ache like hell; and you flush the toilet with your feet
You think 'tuck out' is the opposite of 'tuck in'
You tell everyone you meet where you studied and the intricacies of your family tree-just to show them you come from good stock - it never occurs to you that people may not have heard of your university or your clan's last name
You show up late for work and your excuse is 'I forgot to on the alarm' or better yet 'traffic eh'
You linger over the Tonite and Balita tabloids available at the Star Ferry, but quickly buy the Asian Wall Street Journal when other Filipinos start browsing
Brushing your teeth after lunch in the office lavatory is an unbreakable habit, even if your colleagues can't bear touching the taps after you've drooled and spat all over them
Namedropping is your favorite sport when you meet up with new acquaintances from back home
Toni Braxton, Basia and Swing Out Sister are your idea of party music, you hardly listen to anything else
You sell Amway and Herbalife as sideline
You fight noisily with Cathay Pacific check-in staff over the size of hand carried luggage-which could be anything from oversize suitcases to major appliances
You under declare your income when you pay Phil tax, even if it's peculiar that a consultant is paid little more than a domestic helper's wages
At Immigration, when they call out 'Maria', you and 46 other women stand up
When they play 'Anak' anywhere, your chest swells with pride and say 'that's Filipino'
You think taking a shower and taking a bath are the same thing
You use shopping bags as garbage bags
You use laundry detergent to wash your dishes
You use print rags from an imported fashion magazine as cover of your textbooks and notebooks
You enjoy watching Pinoy action films with the same plot: Hero and villain are mortal enemies. Hero's family's killed by villain. Hero seeks revenge. Hero meets bar girl with sad tale of past love. She comes from a poor family, that's why she's working in the bar. They fall in love. Villain kidnaps girl, threatens to kill her if hero won't stop harassing him and his henchmen. Hero rescues girl, they run away. Chase goes on in a dilapidated car. Hero finally kills villain and police arrive. Hero and girl live happily ever after.

VOCABULARY

You say 'for take out' instead of 'to go' ('take away' for Singaporean)
You 'open' and 'close' the lights
You ask for 'Colgate' instead of toothpaste
You ask for 'pen tel pen' instead of a ballpen or pen
You refer to refrigerator as 'ref', 'Frigidare', or "pridyider"
You say 'kodakan' instead of take a picture
You order 'McDonald's' instead of hamburger, which you pronounce 'ham-boor-jer'
You say 'Ha?' instead of 'what?'
You say 'Hoy!' to get someone's attention
You answer when someone yells 'Hoy!'
You turn around when you hear 'pssst'
You say 'Cutex' instead of nail polish
You say 'for a while' instead of 'Please hold' on the telephone
You say 'he' when you mean 'she' and vice versa
Your sneeze sounds like 'Ahh-ching' instead of 'Ahh-choo'
You say 'Aray' instead of 'ouch'
You make acronyms for phrases: 'OA' = overacting, 'DOM' = dirty old man, and 'TNT' for... You know
You say 'aircon' instead of 'A/C' or airconditioner
You pronounce the ff. words: 'Hippopo-TA-mus', 'com-FOR-table', 'Bro-CO-li', and 'Montgo-marry Ward'
You say 'brown-out' instead of 'black-out'
You say 'Ay' or "Uy" instead of 'oops'
You start with 'actually' when you're trying to explain something
You say 'comfort room' instead of bathroom
You pronounce 'fax' as the four letter word
Ano' and 'di ba' regularly slip out during conversations
You say, 'my girlfriend will fetch,' when foreigners think fetching is for dogs
You try hard to speak English and when you don't know what to say next, you say 'you know...'
You change your accent according to the person you're talking to
When someone's pregnant, you say 'she's on the way'
You say 'ayyss---!' in kolehiyala accent to show any kind of extreme emotion - 'ayyy, shheeettt, nag-split na sila? 'ayysss, shheeettt talaga?
When somebody gives you a compliment, instead of saying thank you, you say 'hindi naman'

HOME FURNISHINGS

You use 'walis tambo' and 'walis ting-ting' as opposed to a conventional broom
You own a karaoke machine
You own a piano that no one ever plays
You have a portrait of the Last Supper hanging on your dining room wall
You have a 'tabo' in your bathroom
You have a rose garden
Your house is cluttered with 'burloloys'
You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck
You have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room
You own a 'barrel man' (schwing!) from Baguio
You have 'parol' displayed during the holidays
You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets
Your lampshades still have plastic covers on them
You have plastic runners to cover your carpets
You refer to VCR as 'Betamax' even if it's a VHS
You own a rice dispenser
You own a turbo broiler
You own a lamp with oil that drips down to the strings
You have a giant wooden spoon and fork hanging in your dining room
You own Capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats
You have a pair of wooden tinikling dancers on your wall
You have 'Weapons of Moroland' shield hanging on your living room wall
Your wall to wall carpeting includes the ceiling
You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps
Your microwave, washer, TV, VCR, computer, printer, toaster and doorknobs are hidden under quilted covers
You have the entire Apo Hiking Society collection, plus maybe some Tito Mina and Pops Fernandez thrown in
There's a pail in your bathroom, just in case there's a water shortage or the toilet won't flush
You have fly swatter in your kitchen
You have multiplex tapes
You buy song hit mixes like "New Wave Disco Hits"

CLOTHING AND APPEARANCE

There's Angelique eyeliner and Johnson's Baby Powder compacts lurking in your makeup drawer
You use Perla soap on your face
You have several pairs of 'tsinelas' at your doorstep
You deliberately flaunt your pager and cellphone
You find dried-up morsels or rice stuck to your shirt
You check labels on clothes to see where it's made
You hang your clothes out to dry
You've had the same bobbed hairstyle since high school
You wear fake or original Tommy Hilfiger shirts in bold and shouting prints
Your next goal is to buy Polo or Burberry's bag
Your ponytail ribbon covers half your head
You wore kung fu shoes in high school
You use an umbrella for a shade on hot summer days
You play basketball in you chinellas (slippers)

AUTOMOBILES & DRIVING

Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune in reverse
You have a rosary on your car rear view mirror
Your car horn can make three or more different sounds
You have those air fresheners in a bottle
You own a Mercedes Benz and call it a 'Chedeng'
Your car has curb feelers on it
You have a fake banana display attached to your car window
You own a huge van conversion
You do not try to avoid pedestrians
A traffic cop says "your license expired eight years ago"
A road sign that says "Dangerous curve, Death toll 19" causes you to make another accident
For you a yellow light means " go paster"
A traffic cop is known to you as a "crocodile"
You refer to a female driver as a "lesbian"
You insist on fitting 8 people into a taxi, much to the distress of the driver, and say, 'we're making 'kandong'

FAMILY & FRIENDS

You were raised believing every Filipino was an aunt and uncle
Your dad or uncle was in the Navy
Your mom or sister is a Nurse
You get smelling kisses from your grandma
Your parents call each other mommy and daddy
You know someone with a name that repeats itself, i.e. Jon-Jon, Len-Len, Jong-Jong, or Bing-Bing
You have aunt & uncle named Baby, Girlie or Boy
You know a veteran dynamite fisherman called "Lefty"
You have a dog named whitie, blackie or bantay
Your parents call each other 'Mahal' and they call you 'Anak' or by your wonderful Filipino nickname you've had all your life (Jang, Cici, Meng, Choy-Choy, etc) ....and you KNOW they're mad at each other or at you when they use actual names

FOOD

You think eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great morning meal
You order breakfast items like tapsilog, longsilog, or tocilog at restaurants
You always grab a toothpick after each meal
You order a 'soft drink' instead of soda
You dip bread in your morning coffee
You refer to seasonings and all forms of MSG as 'Ajinomoto'
Your cupboard is full of corned beef hash, spam and vienna sausage
You appreciate a fresh pot of hot rice
You bring your 'baon' to work everyday
Your 'baon' is usually something over rice
Goldilocks means more to you than a fairy tale character (bakery)
You wash and re-use plastic utensils and styrofoam cups
You eat purple Yam flavored ice cream (ube)
You know that 'chocolate meat' isn't really made with chocolates
You think half-hatched duck eggs (balut) are a delicacy
You have an ice shaver for making 'halo-halo'
Your cloth tablecloths have telltale 'tuyo' circles on them
You have to have a bottle of Jufran handy
You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice
Neighbors complain about the smell of 'tuyo' on Sunday mornings
You fry Spam and hotdogs and eat them with rice
You eat rice for breakfast
You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer
Your buy ketchup made from bananas and named after alien spaceships
You've eaten hotdogs made from worse things than lips and ass
You put hotdogs in your spaghetti
You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries
You know the meaning of double dead egg. double dead chicken
The pasalubong you want from Manila is cornik, which you snack on eight times a day in the office
Your idea of a diet is a diet coke with a McDonald's meal
You serve coffee in small glass coffee containers
You drink beer with ice

                                              48 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO

You unwrap Christmas gifts very  carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
When there is a sale on toilet  paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
You use the dishwasher as a dish  rack.
You have never used your dishwasher.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You always leave your shoes at the door.
You have a piano in your living  room.
You play a musical instrument.
You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
You twirl your pen around your fingers.
You hate to waste food....

(a)  Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the  table, you'll finish  them.
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
Ditto for paper napkins.
You never order room service.
You own a rice cooker.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys  surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and hey they refer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the  same neighborhood.
Your parents' house is always cold.
You reuse teabags.
Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
You have acquired a taste for bittermelon (ampalaya).
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh.
You always cook too much.
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
You e-mail your friends at work, even though you are only 10 feet apart.
Your parents send money to their relatives in the Philippines.
You're always late.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your parents are never happy with your grades.
You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
You keep used batteries.
Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
Your relatives either work in medicine or real estate.
You take this message and forward it to all your Filipino friends.

                                                            SOME MORE SIGNS

Most Filipino women / young women own a LOT of shoes!  They will also never wear more than half of them again
You get punished by kneeling on rice.
Cokes are reserved for visitors to your house.
Your mother / grandmother's most precious item is her sewing machine.
You've been to a Buddy Poppy event.
you buy 25 lb. bags or rice and gallon jugs of soy sauce.
trying to explain to people why Philippines starts with "Ph" and Filipino starts with "F".
your grandparents leave the TV on even when nobody watches it.
the exact same artificial christmas tree with the same ornaments, year after year.
you know a relative in the VFW or VFW ladies auxiliary.
your parents try to get you to go on a date with a child of one their friends.